It's WAR!!!! Bloody, Ghastly WAR!!!
It all started last night at the Chateau Polymath in Caledon Tam. I was entertaining some lady visitors with a pot of tea at the end of the day-- Miss Frequency Picnic, Miss Hermoine Pennyfeather, and Miss Virrginia Tombola. The conversation was light and aery. The hour growing late, Miss Picnic opted to retire to her home in Calleta.
In the middle of our farewells, in strode a gentleman of dark visage.. "Declan" or "Derwood" was all I managed to remember. He was swart of skin, of olive complexion; dark hair and eyes.. a distinctly Latin or Mediterranean look, I recall thinking at the time. In any event, I was still goggle eyed with astonishment over this unwarranted trespass into my own beloved Polymath that I could barely squeak out a courteous "Good evening, sir!" when this mountebank launches into what was clearly some form of prepared speech:
"Greetings, my Caledonian friends. I am arrived to confess my nefarious deed! I have in my possession documents STOLEN FROM DESMOND SHANG HIMSELF! Documents, I might add, that will affect peace or war with Neualtenberg! The evidence is lying on at table over at the Falling Anvil (the public house next door). With that, I must bid you adieu!" And out he sprinted.. Tea cups flew! The jam-pot went into the fireplace! To give credit to the weaker sex (ha!! double ha!) Miss Pennyfeather showed remarkable presence of mind and dove over the divan, nearly catching the villain! We all followed him out but he was a shifty devil and manged to fade away in the darkness.
On inspection, it was as the villain had proclaimed. There, on the table, were plans for Caledon's expansion to the West. Secret plans! How did this cad get his hands on them? It would seem to me that security has been mighty lax if someone can sneak into the Guvnah's mansion and make off with sensitive information like this!
How long can we or should we stand for this?? Fellow Caledonians, it is time to unsheathe our swords and respond to this atrocity!
It is war! War to the Knife! War to the Hilt! WE SHALL NOT FALTER!
VIVAT CALEDON!!!!!
Posts
6 comments:
Major Zealot Benmergui, Lord BardHaven, an officer in Caledon's elite Looking Glass Lancers ("The Battle Bunnies") stands in The Beacon Room of The House of Three Graces looking out over Caledon, and mutters softly to Kashmir, his invisible batman.
"And so the lights went out all over Mayfair. Now pack me a lunch, you beautiful heathen...and bring me my automatics."
Time to plant that victory garden, I suppose (good time of year for it, anyway). Oh, must polish sabres.... so much to do.
Nabila N Peterman
Yes, Mr Otoole's account of this bold intrusion stands up to Miss P's intense blazing scrutinous eye *rubs the black and blue spot on her knee from vaulting that dratted sofa. It's no wonder this vigilant protector of Caledon gets no sleep at all! We should be thankful for his wary eye. Question: We all stood there gawking at that map. Did anyone manage to get a copy to check its authenticity with Mr Shang? If there hadn't been a rolling restart of the region we might have made more headway in solving this intrusion.
CONFIRMATION
The Guvnah himself points out HERE that indeed, some individual has somehow managed to pilfer objects that were "not to be revealed for many months". He seems to think it was the act of an Arms Seller trying to stir up war with the Neualtenbergers, from his statements, but I suspect the intruder was the real deal. Nobody I had ever seen in Caledon before. Did you get his name, Miss P? Blast and confusion, I wish I had had the presence of mind to take EVEN ONE PICTURE of this event...
An appalling situation! Not only are Foreign Sorts interfering with our island, but now, it seems, they are attempting to interfere with regions that have not yet even come into existence! What terrible intentions might they have for these innocent, unborn sims?
I was a bit addled by lack of sleep and too much of the Anvil's lager followed by too much of Mr. Otoole's tea, but I think the events played out exactly as he and Miss Pennyfeather have related. One has to wonder why the scoundrel chose that particular parlor in which to announce his crime, but his laugh was definitely of the "Insane Evil Genius" type, so I suppose all bets are off.
Post a Comment