Regarding recent stormy moments in the SL Blogosphere: The tempest has died, the issue has been addressed, the accusations of hypocrisy have been flung from on high, and the latest non-apologetic apology has been levied (with a very witty reply). We all 'get' that it
wasn't about
one individual, or the
other individual, it was about proper public discourse (which, oddly, is how I always saw it, too).
So with all those points acknowledged, I rather like
THIS post from Zealot Benmuergi, aka Baron Bardhaven, as it touches on something I have commented on many times in here (and in public)-- the notion that someone's roleplaying discussions may not be to our liking, and how we as individuals (and customers of Second Life) choose to address it. Specifically, Baron B. addresses the notion of
muting, which is an issue that has been addressed as a way of confronting unpleasantness
in this journal and many others, including a great post in Miss Heron's journal (now no longer online, sadly, but the gist of it is
copied to Miss Sera's journal).
The Baron B. breaks down the proper response to not participating in an unwanted roleplay discussion into four possible actions:
Ask them to Stop
Leave the Situation
Mute the Person Secretly
Mute them Openly
His position is that the first option causes more problems than it would solve, and the second seems patently unfair if the participants are on neutral ground. I agree with both of those conclusions. Which leaves
muting, either
openly or
secretly. It is Baron B.'s contention that the last option, openly muting an individual whose speech is not to your liking (that is, informing the individual he is muted), is the most honest, fair and open approach of all of them. He considers secretly muting to be dishonest and sneaky (I'm paraphrasing, of course).
That's one way of looking at it, to be sure.
So far, I have
never been able to address the notion of response to an unwanted roleplay discussion with ANYone in Second Life without that person getting very defensive and hurt by the notion that I don't care for the roleplay that is their own sacred cow. I have always felt that if a person or group subjects me to their roleplay without them giving me an option (say, in a public place, neutral area, chat channel, etc) to say "no thanks", then they have impinged upon my own rights as a customer and resident of the area where we all reside. This is not a conversation that many roleplayers appear ready to engage in with me-- responses to my attempts at discussing it openly have been unproductive to say the least. This is not altogether suprising, as roleplaying is often tied up with issues of the ego and superego. The participant feels as if his or her roleplaying pasttime is not only beneficial for themselves, it is beneficial for
everyone in the surrounding area, hearing distance, on chat channels and other information resources shared by the community. Usually, that sort of roleplayer will not be willing to enter into a dialogue about the 'fairness' of their doctrine of engagement, and will even get openly hostile should one question them on their right to impact other players Second Life experience with their roleplay.
At the end of the day, one person doesn't have much recourse in Second Life, unless the other person gets abusive. The ability to mute an individual we find unpleasant was
designed by Linden Labs specifically to give the individual SL player a powerful resource for dealing with inworld unpleasant behavior or individuals. Once the power of mute is invoked, the 'offending' individual not only becomes silent, but their creations, chat spams, notecards, TP requests, friend requests and other interactions vanish from sight. The mute state is detectable through some simple expedients-- notably trying to send the muting individual a note (nothing will happen), or talking to them openly in world or in a chat channel (they will not respond). Usually, both sides won't interact at all.
With that explained, which muting is preferable?
Openly or
Secretly?
Perhaps it is sneaky, but I certainly mute people I find unpleasant or occassionally motor mouthed. I very RARELY mute someone's roleplay. I can always turn off a chat channel, or ask for clarification in plain english (which I do frequently). I do not inform the people I DO mute (they are less than a handfull, but they deserve it), because openly muting someone is almost equivelant to asking them to stop roleplaying, which I don't feel I have the right to do. People's egos always seem to be hurt by the perceived sense of rejection. Recent events in world only serve to illustrate this. So why bother informing them that you have elected to not participate in their roleplay by muting them? Such an action is not what the recipient wants to hear (or be made public, certainly).
Perhaps it is sneaky, but by muting the unpleasant, I feel that BOTH sides are served by this action-- nasty interactions in world drop to nothing (if both sides are lucky), and time is not wasted embroiled in senseless bickering. The hitch is that it is good to know if one is muted in turn, so nobody becomes unduly embarassed publically.
At some point, I would love to have an objective discussion about equal rights for roleplaying (or more precisely, NOT roleplaying) in a Second Life themed community. I have never accepted "majority rules" as the answer for this question, and would like, for once, for the vitriol to be put aside and have a discussion without the attendant hyperbolic reaction as has been displayed in the past. Likely such a discussion is not forthcoming, but I would welcome it.